Kathy
in Memos & Musings · 2 min read
Let’s be honest. Most retail investors are not portfolio managers. They’re not studying charts, reviewing fundamentals, or planning strategic rotations. They just want to put their money somewhere and hope it grows.
Some of what we’re about to say might sting a little. It might hit the nail on the head. But don’t take offense—it is what it is.
So how do we translate that into soccer terms? Here’s how we see it:
1. Dollar-Cost Averaging (DCA) Investor = The Striker Who Just Shoots Blindly
This player doesn’t care where he is on the pitch. Corner flag? Just shoot. Backline? Still shoot. Surrounded by defenders? Launch it anyway.
Why?
Because the coach told him: “Just keep shooting every 5 minutes interval. Eventually, one will go in.”
That’s DCA in a nutshell.
Every month, the DCA investor buys — regardless of market conditions, valuations, sentiment, or momentum. There’s no reading of the game. No understanding of whether it’s a good time to attack or defend. No context.
He don’t know if the market is in a bull or bear phase, He don’t know if tech is overbought or if REITs are bottoming — He just buy, and hope that long-term compounding bails them out.
It’s a brute-force strategy. It’s robotic. It might score eventually, but it’s highly inefficient.
In football terms?
He is just spamming long-range shots in the hope one finds the net.
2. Buy-and-Hold Investor = The Player Who Refuses to Move
Imagine a midfielder who walks onto the pitch, picks a random spot… and then never moves again.
The ball could be on the other side. The tempo could change. But this guy just stays there, watching, hoping the ball comes back to him.
That’s the buy-and-hold ETF investor.
He picked an index or some stocks, bought it once — and then just stood still. Maybe because he was told that the best holding period is forever.
No rebalancing. No profit-taking. No adapting to new information or market conditions. He’s playing the long game, which can work… if he is patient enough and lucky enough to have bought at decent valuations.
But in terms of playing the game? He is barely involved.
3. The Overdiversified Investor = The Team With Its Whole Squad On The Pitch
This investor buys everything. His portfolio has over 50-100 names belonging to various asset classes or has many several ETFs run by different asset managers that essentially still invest in the same major holdings — all cancelling or overlapping each other out.
In football terms?
He tries to field the entire squad — starters, substitutes, even the reserves — all in one game, just so everyone gets some game time because he does not know who is going to perform well. The result? No synergy. No creativity. No direction.
He thinks he’s being “safe” by diversifying across the board — but what he’s actually done is dilute his upside and risk becoming unknowingly overexposed. There’s no edge. No alpha. No tactical setup. Just a bloated, confused squad with no clearly defined roles.
4. The FOMO Investor = The Winger Who Chases the Ball Aimlessly
Wherever the ball goes, this guy sprints after it.
Last month it was crypto. This month it’s Gold. Tomorrow it might be AI. He’s always chasing the current play — but never quite in the right place at the right time.
He buys when it’s already too late. He sells when it’s already too low. His reaction time is slow, his positioning is poor, and he always arrives just after the goal was scored. Maybe because he heard that the best time to invest was yesterday and that the second best time is now.
That’s the typical trend-chasing retail investor. Always late to the party, and always wondering why the returns aren’t coming.
5. The Panic Seller = The Goalkeeper Who Runs Away from the Ball
Imagine your last man — the goalkeeper — turning his back and running when the ball comes his way.
That’s the investor who sells every time the market dips. He bought the top, saw a 10-20% drawdown, panicked, and cut his losses… only to see the market rebound.
Repeat this enough times and you’re not compounding — you’re compounding mistakes.
The Reason Why Retail Investors Struggle
Hence, for these investors, they are not managing a portfolio. They’re not even playing football. Most are just kicking the ball for fun and praying it goes in instead of building a championship team.
In summary, they lack:
- A system
- A strategy
- A feedback loop
- A way to read the state of play
- A tactical plan to pivot when needed
And that’s why many end up underperforming — not just relative to professional fund managers, but even against inflation or a basic index.
For some, the above can be a stress-free way to build long-term wealth, and it may still actually work over time. But if your goal is to retire early or achieve financial independence faster than the average person, then aiming for better risk-adjusted returns becomes non-negotiable.
You can’t expect to win football games by letting your players run around aimlessly — and the same goes for investing. To outperform, you need to think like a football manager, just like what we do in our Moneyball Investing methodology. Read the game. Adjust your formation. Know when to defend, when to attack. And above all, manage your team — or in this case, your capital — with intent.
About Kathy
Co-Founder of The Joyful Investors and Co-CIO of InvestingNote Portfolio. I graduated with a degree in Economics in National University of Singapore (NUS). My previous experience with traders at the Merrill Lynch enable me to realize many counter-intuitive truths about how the financial markets work and to uncover the challenges faced by many new investors. Investing can be astoundingly simple, and my goal is to make financial education accessible and easy to understand for everyone.
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This document is for information only and does not constitute an offer or solicitation nor be construed as a recommendation to buy or sell any of the investments mentioned. Neither The Joyful Investors Pte. Ltd. (“The Joyful Investors”) nor any of its officers or employees accepts any liability whatsoever for any loss arising from any use of this publication or its contents. The views expressed are solely the opinions of the author as of the date of this document and are subject to change based on market and other conditions.
The information provided regarding any individual securities is not intended to be used to form any basis upon which an investment decision is to be made. The information contained in this document, including any data, projections and underlying assumptions are based upon certain assumptions and analysis of information available as at the date of this document and reflects prevailing conditions, all of which are accordingly subject to change at any time without notice and The Joyful Investors is under no obligation to notify you of any of these changes.
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